Perhaps it may turn out a sang,
Perhaps turn out a sermon.

-- R. Burns Epistle to a Young Friend

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Guest Blogger

Hidee – my fren the Muchroom is not arownd kaws this uz the wekenned. But he laft his labtub on sow I thawed I wood say hidee.

Hidee.

I rekken I awt to idenchurfy misef. I grode up with the Muchroom ann my Pap he rayzed livur spoted ann limen spoted poinur burd dogs. Pap had a hart fer em air poinurs and traned em two hunt. They wuz all rejusturd and had grate long names like Duke Red Elektrik Korkur the Thurd. Pap wuz parshul two Duke Red Elektrik ann he named my olis brother aftur that Dog. Good thang air last name uz Jones. Ha ha. We allwees tell that fer funny. Enfakt Pap named all uv his yungens after his favurit burd dogs.

Us boys dud not mine two much but it wuz hard fer Sis. Pap named her after his favurit beech, the Walleyed Arkansaw She Devil. I thank that had sumthen to do with her abekomen a purfourmens artust.

My Christchun name uz Thunduren Whurleeburd Uv Tasmeneea.

They wuz anuther brother, but he dud not half a name fer Mam hed him like Mosus when the Bulls Rushed.

Now Pap he had allwees ate er sevun dogs atter time with em air grate long names plus 3 yungens not kowten the Un Noed. You mite onedur howd he keep em strayed. That uz a rite tore heel kweschen if you wuz oneduren kaws I aim to tell you.

Pap kalt evur body Joe.

I onest ast him if that bothured the dogs. He sed as fur as he noed dogs dud not nevur kalt erry nuther by name. He sed dogs go prymerlee by the old fokkery cents.

Now I alwees onedured how that idenchurfyed the rite dog. But they uz still a lot uv thangs bout the cents uv fokkery I do not undurstan.

I no it nevur dud us yungens ennie good. You cud sum daz tell Joe not me my brother from Sis Joe deepenen I supoz on the fokkery cents. But it wudden nevur a shore thang.

It wuz bad in skool kaws they wuz uselee 3 er 2 Joe Jones in ennie klas ennie ways. Ad two that thut Joe my brother not me wuz in Thurd Grayed untell I kawt up with him. Thurd Grayed wuz hard ann I hunged up thare two untell Sis Joe kawt up. It wuz all full konfuzen untell Joe my brother not me wuz drafded by the Soonurs fer two play fudball and Sis Joe druped out fer to be a purfourmens artust. I mooved on to Ford Grayed befour kompleten my edjewkashun.

Now I haf to stop kaws the Muchroom uz bak ann halfen a fit bout me usen his labtub. He uz sayen thangs thut uz konfuzen me on the cents uv fokkery aggen. Shute far fer I wuz aimen to tell you bout hunten em air zhumbees ovur to Jurktale way. The Muchroom sed maabee nex wekenned.

5 comments:

Rick said...

Wicked funny, Mush!
Awe maaaan..I wish I hadn accent.
‘stead my stewpit folks lift in Row-die-lyn.

julie said...

:D

robinstarfish said...

;-))

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Ha ha! Eksollent! Hidee! :^)

mushroom said...

Rhodie accents -- you should have seen me the night I got lost in Providence, first time I'd ever been in the Northeast, fresh from Texas, trying to get directions in a Dunkin Doh'nuts.

I was thinking about asking them, What is yall's native language? Maybe we could do better in that.

Thanks to everyone who took time to read this. I was out working on a couple of new garden plots yesterday when Tweedy Joe stopped by and took over when I wasn't watching.

After I had taken care of an early morning emergency at one of our sites, I decided to go ahead and post his thoughts.

Tweedy's really a pretty cool guy, not much, as you can see on book-learnin', but he knows his business which is dogs, logs, and hogs -- in that order.