Three's Company

Passages in both Ephesians 5 and Colossian 3, speak about relationships: husbands and wives, children and parents, slave and masters. How we relate to others seems to be important to God. Let’s take a look at what Paul says in his letter to the church at Colossae.

Wives, be submissive to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and don't become bitter against them.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing in the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won't become discouraged.

Slaves, obey your human masters in everything; don't work only while being watched, in order to please men, but work wholeheartedly, fearing the Lord. ... Masters, supply your slaves with what is right and fair, since you know that you too have a Master in heaven. -- Colossians 3:18-22,4:1

Notice, first, that these are perfectly paired statements. Nothing is asked of one side of the relationship without something being asked of the other. Yet it is not simply a reciprocal response. The requirements on each side are absolute. Husbands have to love their wives even if they "don't get no respect". Children have to obey their parents even if the parents are unworthy.

Here are the verses I left out, Colossians 3:23-25 –

Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men, knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord -- you serve the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for whatever wrong he has done, and there is no favoritism.

As it says in Romans, "God is no respecter of persons". Our position in life is not what is important. Whether husband, wife, child, parent, slave, or master, none of that matters to God in its essence. What matters is what we do with it. A relationship, though it appears as a couplet, is really, then, a triad. Christ is between us, always. If a man's wife disrespects him, she is disrespecting Christ. If a man becomes bitter or is unfaithful to his wife, he is bitter and unfaithful to the Lord.

My job is to take my position, however humble or exalted, and see what I can do with it. I need to see if I can keep Jesus in focus when my kids are acting like fools, when my boss makes unreasonable demands, or my wife snatches the remote control.

Initially I was thinking about the husband and wife relationship as kind of a means of overcoming our natural tendencies. Men, especially young men, probably gravitate toward idolizing women, while women may tend toward wanting to be in control (for some reason I laugh even as I write that).

By acting in accordance to God's requirements, we are forced to refocus and put our eyes on Him. The woman who would manipulate her husband, because she can, will have to see that she is really trying to manipulate and control the Lord. A man unwilling to put the Lord first in his life is doing his wife a disservice by making an idol of her. The man who would fail to love his wife and give himself up for her must see that he is failing to love Jesus. Consider marriage as a means of helping your spouse and, at the same time, yourself reject the bondage of the old nature and live in the liberty of the kingdom.

What God is asking of us may not come easily, and perhaps that’s the whole point. We need to break free of the world’s perspective and see Him in the middle of everything.