A Means of Grace

For by grace are you saved through faith, and it is not from yourselves; it is a gift of God - Ephesian 2:8

(A member of my family gave birth to a baby boy some months ago — J.H., we'll call him. He was born with a number of physical problems. It was clear that he was not going to live very long. The family prayed for miracles. Within a very few hours of birth, he passed on. A few days ago, J.H.'s sister, only five or so herself came down with a cold. She asked, "Am I going to die like my baby brother?" As winter settles in, the family has lots of time, too much time, to think about their loss. They ask why, and this is my stuttering, stumbling answer.)

Most of us don't understand grace. We think of it as something ephemeral, a sort of attitude that God has toward us by which He says, "You're OK." In fact, grace is a power and a form of wisdom and, sometimes, an immovable object as solid as a mountain. Grace is a gift, and faith is our response to it. It is not a state of mind any more than life is a state of mind.

Perhaps you have heard the phrase "the means of grace". In most theological teaching, the means of grace include studying the Scriptures, the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, doing good works, sacrificing for others, perhaps being baptizing and receiving communion. Though grace is a free gift, it must be appropriated into our lives. We must recognize it, respond to it, even pursue it.

God does not limit the means of grace to the usual and the general. He deals with us as individuals. He knows our weaknesses and our strengths - and He knows that sometimes our strength needs more grace to overcome than our weakness. To this end, He sends specific things into our lives. These may be seen at first as blessings, or as trials, or even curses. They are never meant for evil, though they may have an evil appearance. It may be said of some of them that they are "of the devil", but this is not true, and, if we will hold to faith, we will see that they are from God's hand, meant only for our transformation, conduits of grace into our lives.

J.H. was a means of grace. It's not hard to say that of his birth, but his death seems to be an evil thing, perhaps, at best, a senseless thing, a thing that makes those who knew him ask, Why, and to ask it over and over again. Was God not powerful enough to give J.H. life? Did God not care about the broken hearts of J.H.'s family? If God did not intend for him to live, why did He give this little life at all only to snatch it away so cruelly?

I am not God, and I dare not answer for Him. I can say beyond doubt that J.H. entered joyously into the presence of Christ, whole and triumphant, peaceful and untainted, pure and sweet. He never knew disappoint or rejection. He never wept over a loss. He was never afraid. He never experienced darkness. All he knew was light.

But what of us? We still feel the pain of his being wrenched from us. We wonder if he was taken away because we failed in some way. We question if there was anything we could have done to get God to listen and leave him with us. We hear the mocking words of the enemy that it was all just random and meaningless, only proof that God does not exist or does not know or does not care.

J.H. was a means of grace, a way of giving us insight into the heart of God, a brief, blazing light illuminating the uncertain and dark corners of our souls. A knife in our hearts? Yes. But not the cruel blade of the butcher. It is the scalpel of the skilled surgeon who heals us by His wounding. He must open our hearts in pain that He might remove those obstructions that block and hinder the flow of His life through ours.

Let's not be so full of pride and self-righteousness that we think there is no evil thing within us threatening to grow and choke out the life of Christ.

Let us not be so childish as to accuse God of punishing us when He loves us and wants only to make us whole.

Let us not blame ourselves for that with which we were born as part of Adam's race.

There was nothing we can do to heal ourselves any more than we could save ourselves apart from God’s own Son who volunteered to die on the cross that we might live. Somebody had to be the Instrument of our salvation; somebody had to be the means of our grace. J.H. followed in the footsteps of Jesus.

If he could speak to us today, he might say, "But even if I am poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you" (Philippians 2:17).