Looking Out

Trust in him at all time, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us – Psalm 62:8

I am least likely to trust in God when things are going along splendidly.  It is easy to trust in God when all other hope is gone, when we have no other options.  

Trust in God first, second, and last.

Trust God when you are bitter, when you are snakebit, when you are well and able, when it all comes together, and when it all falls apart. 

Pour out your heart to God when it is filled with praise, when it is filled with joy or sorrow or hate or love, when it overflows with bitterness and cursing or gratitude and blessing. 

The world was different before the Cross, but I remember it.  I remember my life before the Cross.  God was a dread presence if I remembered Him at all for I was estranged and alienated, filled with animosity and rebellion.  But I saw Christ crucified, the wrath of God upon Him, in my place.  I saw, too, the risen Christ, and the ascended Christ, and I knew that I need no more suffer fear and foreboding in telling God my troubles, expressing my doubts, dismay, and anger, or confessing my faults, failures, and weaknesses.

And the LORD said, Behold, there is a place by me where you shall stand on the rock, and while my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft of the rock, and I will cover you with my hand until I have passed by (Exodus 33:21-22).

When you picture “cleft of the rock” it is a rather womb-like image.  God is our Father, but Wisdom is feminine, and the Way has that aspect of mystery as well.  Moses had asked to see God’s glory.  To see God full on destroys our existence as material creatures.  He always has to be behind us, as we are sheltered in Him.  Looking out, we may, however, see what lingers of His having come by in the great spiral path we are on.

Scales

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! -- Psalms 139:23-24

A few weeks ago, a pedophile wrote a piece on Salon admitting how much he struggles with his thoughts about children.  I have not read all of his words, but I have read excerpts and commentary about it.  His attempt at public confession has stirred sympathy in some and revulsion in others.  I think revulsion is the proper response.  Supposedly, if you can believe anything a pedophile might tell you, he has never acted on his thoughts or impulses.  If that’s true then that is good as far as it goes. 

If I were to speak one-on-one with this person, I would suggest that he change his thoughts.  I’ve talked before about the difference between temptation and sin.  That one is tempted to do something is not the same as doing it.  Too, there is a difference between admiring and acknowledging beauty or someone’s possessions and temptation.  For example, there is a huge gulf between a grown man thinking a fourteen-year-old girl is pretty and him raping the babysitter.  There is a similar chasm between admiring how your sister looks in a bikini and committing incest.  There’s a difference between thinking it would be nice to have a particular car and stealing the one your neighbor just bought.

Certain elements of society do not seem to be able to understand this very simple concept.  Our actions start as thoughts.  Yes, we all have natural, built-in biological drives for things like food and sex.  On top of those basic drives, we have rules that have been inculcated by traditional wisdom.  When our rules are based on the deeper truth and reality of our unique existence as humans, they are good and work well.  Not all rules are equally truth-based; therefore, not all rules are equally good.  

Some argue that our western, Christian view of homosexuality, pedophilia and other traditionally aberrant behaviors are “merely” cultural.  This is true, but not merely.  Cannibalism, human sacrifice, infanticide, suicide, genocide, and other practices have been acceptable at various times to various cultures.  Our opposition to those kinds of behaviors is “merely” cultural as well.  All cultures are less than perfect and probably corrupted to one degree or another.  Some are much less perfect and much more corrupt than others.  When someone says we need learn from one of those corrupt cultures, my reply is that we have.  We learned not to do those things. 

Apparently we have forgotten the lessons.

Western culture is not the Kingdom of God.  It was, however, informed and shaped by the principles of the Kingdom to a greater degree than most any other culture.  The current phase is not one of evolution and movement toward the Kingdom, but devolution and regression. 

Personal deliverance and societal revival begin with rejecting the thoughts and impulses of the corrupted mind and the carnal nature.  As long as we harbor and excuse thoughts that run contrary to the mind of Christ, we are enemies of God.  Deviancy does not need acceptance and understanding. 

Very few of us are overweight because someone chained us to a bed and force-fed us.  We lose weight by, in essence, embracing hunger, being honest about and aware of what we are eating, and practicing self-denial.  Part of that might be not thinking about cheesecake, chocolate, peanut butter, French fries, or whatever our weakness is.  It might not be fair that some people seem to be able to eat whatever they want and not gain a pound, but anyone can learn to think about food intake and use a simple bathroom scale to achieve a caloric balance. 

If he or she wants to. 

Having bad thoughts is not an excuse to harbor bad thoughts.

Tripping

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? -- Jeremiah 17:9

As you may know, the name “Jacob” means “supplanter”, i.e., “tripping up insidiously by the heel”.  Jacob went so far as to deceive (with his mother’s help – probably a whole other study) his own father in order to obtain the blessing he desired. 

There is always a danger and a snare that we risk deceiving ourselves as we attempt to obtain desired blessings from God.  To deceive God is impossible – and we realize that, for the most part.  Instead the heart hides from its intentions and refuses to accept and acknowledge its own motives and desires.  We justify our actions and do our best to make them sound noble, generous, and merciful.  All the sickness gets projected outward to those around us, the “system”, society, or even to God who is too harsh or demanding or judgmental or whatever it may be.

Jacob – and we are all Jacob – cheated his brother and fled from his justifiable anger.  But we have to wonder if Esau was all that bent on murder.  There’s no doubt that Jacob deserved a sound and solid whipping.  When the brothers meet after 20 years, Esau isn’t even concerned about that, and Jacob had found one more deceitful than himself in Laban at whose hands he had suffered. 

Often, when we deceive ourselves, we live in fear because something deep inside tells us we have acted perversely.  In fact, it could be that fear and dread are among the most common and sure signs that we have tried to fool ourselves.  If I find an area of fear in my life, I should look closely at it.  If I face it, I may find myself undeceived, as Jacob was.  It was on his way to deal with his deceptive heart that Jacob met the Angel of the Lord and wrestled with Him at ford of the Jabbok which he renamed Peniel for he had seen God face-to-face. 

As they struggled, the Lord asked a question of Jacob:  And he said to him, What is your name? And he said, Jacob (Genesis 32:27).  That is, he said, I am the deceptive one, the supplanter, the one who surreptitiously trips my brother from behind.  When God had the confession and the heart exposed, He could make a change:  Then he said, Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed (Genesis 32:28). 

Or, as John told us:  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).  Tell the truth.

Rebel Souls

Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness.  You know that he appeared in order to take away sins, and in him there is no sin.  No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him.-- 1 John 3:4-6  

John gives me trouble.  I have wrestled with him before, and I probably will again.  Obviously, sin is a rejection of and rebellion against the law of God.  Jesus was free of the sin principle, but He was also completely free of sin, living always, every moment, in harmonious accord with the Divine will. 

Lawlessness is an interesting word.  Let no one deceive you in any way. For that day will not come, unless the rebellion comes first, and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the son of destruction ...
(2 Thessalonians 2:3).  The man of lawlessness is an antichrist, of whom John says in this First Epistle, there are many.  The lawless ones may, at times, associate themselves with the called-out ones who belong to Christ; however, they are never a part of the Body because rebellion and transgression of God's law are too much their identity.

Jesus is the opposite of lawless, yet He is the greatest revolutionary, leader of the greatest rebellion in all of history.  Whom did He rebel against?  The prince of this world.  Jesus overcame the devil, and in doing so, released us from bondage to that which had ruled over and enslaved us.  Now, the world and its dethroned, deceptive prince no longer have any authority over us.  Now we, too, are rebels, not against the Lord and His law, ... but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places (Ephesians 6:12).    

But the reason I have such a struggle with John in his letter is that he makes it sound as though those in Christ must be always free from any imperfections.  I've met some pretty saintly, holy people, but I've never met anyone I thought was perfectly sinless.  Being in Christ, we are delivered from the weaknesses of the mind and body.  That's why the New Testament speaks of having one's mind renewed.  The Christian has a new understanding, new insight, a new way of seeing, perceiving, and interpreting the world and life.  What the Lord does not remove is our "proneness to sin", as Matthew Henry puts it.

We have a new nature.  We can't operate the way we used to operate.  There is now light that shows us the repulsiveness and malignancy of sin.  Nevertheless, we must always be wary of deceit and deception.  Delusions are all the devil really has left.  And we have to be especially aware of our own potential for self-deceit.  But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves (James 1:22).  If we do fail, though, there is always room for reconciliation, for God ... is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.


 

Sabotaging Resolutions

I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.  …  For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.  Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.  – Romans 7:15-25

And so, we start a new year with many making resolutions to live this year differently in some way from the manner in which they have lived in the past.  For the most part, resolutions to eat healthier, exercise, refrain from this, adhere to that will be forgotten before the calendar rolls to February.  Something seems to sabotage our good intentions. 

Many times as a Christian I have sought to break some habit or create a habit.  I have gone to the altar and confessed before God.  I have prayed and asked for help.  I have read the books and tried to follow the seven steps to success or the twelve sure-fire ways to get on the right track.  However, I find, time and again, that what Bobbie Burns told a certain mousie is true for me:  The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men, Gang aft a-gley, An’ lea’e us nought but grief and pain, For promis’d joy. 

It is true enough the plow which us turns us out into December’s cold is not always of our own making and may indeed be beyond our control.  Yet I think, more often than not, the cause of our disruptions and our failures to find that promised joy lies much closer to home.  Who is it that urges you to eat that second helping, skip your workout, or put off an unpleasant task?  Yep.

But there is something else I have noticed:  when I do something that, as Paul says, is “the very thing I hate”, someone is quick to jump up and condemn me for it.  It’s not for the sake of correction.  Instead the voice I hear asks how I could do/think/say such a thing if I were really a Christian.  It says because I fail to do or not do a particular thing that I am a failure in the sight of God.  The voice tells me that I am rejected by God because I failed to live up to this standard. 

Now a lot of people will tell us that it is the devil talking to us, the devil urging us to do something wrong or not do right, and the devil accusing and condemning us when we follow his advice.    I am sure the devil does get involved sometimes.  On the other hand, I have to give credit where credit is due.  I know that my old fleshly nature is itself devilishly clever and not in need of a lot of outside help to pull off some of these shenanigans.  Plus, it is my flesh, which does not want to cede control and authority to the spirit, who benefits.  By making me feel shame and disgust, it drives a wedge between me and my Father. 

Another ploy of the old nature is to deliberately make a mess of things, get me in a bind then blame God.  The flesh asks why I would trust a God who would allow such a thing to happen.

What we are really doing is sabotaging ourselves because there is a part of us that simply wants to be sovereign, to usurp God’s rightful place in our inner being.  It isn’t that we want to be serial killers or real deviants.  We may even choose, most of the time, to do good – give to charity, provide for our families, help others, and live morally.  But in doing so, we are further convincing ourselves that we do not really need God. 

I’ll use myself as an example.  First I will set unrealistic goals and expectations.  Next, I will distract myself and procrastinate.  I’ll get behind in a project.  I’ll stay up late and work extra hours to catch up.  I’ll get irritable and flaky.  My wife will complain about me neglecting her or working too many hours.  So now, I’m feeling unjustly condemned in one way.  Yet I also know -- since I know that reading “Comic Sins” on Lileks or clicking stupid lists on Cracked.com is what got me behind in the first place, that my wife’s complaint is actually legitimate.  At that point, any excuse to explode will do quite well.  I lose my temper, scream, cuss, and smash things – differing from Hulk only in coloration. 

Once all that is out of my system, I feel shame and guilt.  I’m not a real Christian.  No true Christian would do that kind of thing.  How can God overlook all that?  How can I ever go to God again?  I was never anything but a damned hypocrite.  And, of course, the flesh is quite ready to bring up all my past series of failures and ugly episodes to reinforce that point.

It’s all the work of the saboteur -- stealth, deception, and illusion.  It was never in my power to live the life of Christ.  If it had been, Jesus would never have needed to go to the Cross.  God never needed to look for a way to condemn us.  We condemned ourselves, from the first fall in the Garden to the guy who fell off the wagon this past New Year’s Eve.  We know we are wrong, and we want an excuse to wallow in it, an excuse to give control over to the old fleshly nature, to do it “my way”.  Take time to read Romans 7.  I’m not the only one this has ever happened to.  The Apostle knows the agony I feel because he has gone through the same conflict, the same dark, hopeless battle himself.  

The good news is that I’ve got bad news for the old nature:  There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do (Romans 8:1-3a).

 

Gatekeepers

But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ. -- 2 Corinthians 11:3

Deception, especially, many times, self-deception, is what keeps us in bondage and denies us the love of God and the peace, joy and righteousness that is the fruit of the Spirit.  I don’t understand why I want to deceive myself.  All of us, at some level, want to know the truth, but the truth transforms us, often to the extent that we feel we are losing control of our lives.  It is almost like dying. 

How is our deception maintained and reinforced in the face of truth?  For one, a deceived person seeks out the like-minded.  We find those who are saying much the same thing we have been saying to ourselves.  We develop cliques and cults.  Of course, there’s nothing wrong with the Cult of the Raccoon, but not all are so truth-seeking and beneficial.  To be freed from deception, we have to have questions and doubts as well as faith and answers.  Deceivers are apt to offer us assurances when we need challenges.  False teachers and false prophets, regardless of the realm, will demand that we put our skepticism and cynicism aside.  Truth has no fear of the skeptic. 

Jesus did not condemn those who struggled with acceptance of Him.  He offered them the truth and challenged them, and us, to do the will of God:

So Jesus answered them, “My teaching is not mine, but his who sent me.  If anyone's will is to do God's  will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority.  The one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory, but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and in him there is no falsehood (John 7:16-18). 

The will of God is not entirely a mystery.  It has been made plain in the Law.  If we are striving to live right, as those who stood around Jesus that day claimed to be, and serve God rather than exalt ourselves, the doctrine of Christ will resonate with us. 

It is as though the world, the flesh, and the devil have imprisoned us behind a wall, fenced us in.  The Law leads us to the gate but the keys remained in the devil’s hands.  Our obedience was like a pass that we presented to the gatekeeper thereby obtaining a temporary exit and a degree of freedom.  After a while the failures and sins in our lives would once again imprison us. 

Christ offers more than temporary freedom.  The Cross took the keys out of the hands of our enemy and put them into the hands of our gracious Lord who loves us and seeks always that which is best for us.  Having paid the full price of our freedom, there is never any reason for us to allow ourselves to be locked up again.  All the Lord asks of us is truth in our inner being.  If we will own and acknowledge our faults and failures, He will forgive us and enable us to let them go.  It is only when we insist clinging to our sin that we find ourselves locked down – for our own good. 

This is the danger that Paul warns against.  If we find ourselves back in bondage, the deceiver will tell us that we must pay him to get back out.  Since he is no longer the gatekeeper, not only do we owe him nothing, he couldn’t let us out if he wanted to.  As a result, we serve the devil for nothing and remain in bondage, ever more confused and frustrated by our failure to obtain liberty. 

The answer is to go to the right One and tell Him your troubles.  What He tells you, you will know is the truth:   I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture (John 10:9).