Sabotaging Resolutions

I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.  …  For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.  Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.  – Romans 7:15-25

And so, we start a new year with many making resolutions to live this year differently in some way from the manner in which they have lived in the past.  For the most part, resolutions to eat healthier, exercise, refrain from this, adhere to that will be forgotten before the calendar rolls to February.  Something seems to sabotage our good intentions. 

Many times as a Christian I have sought to break some habit or create a habit.  I have gone to the altar and confessed before God.  I have prayed and asked for help.  I have read the books and tried to follow the seven steps to success or the twelve sure-fire ways to get on the right track.  However, I find, time and again, that what Bobbie Burns told a certain mousie is true for me:  The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men, Gang aft a-gley, An’ lea’e us nought but grief and pain, For promis’d joy. 

It is true enough the plow which us turns us out into December’s cold is not always of our own making and may indeed be beyond our control.  Yet I think, more often than not, the cause of our disruptions and our failures to find that promised joy lies much closer to home.  Who is it that urges you to eat that second helping, skip your workout, or put off an unpleasant task?  Yep.

But there is something else I have noticed:  when I do something that, as Paul says, is “the very thing I hate”, someone is quick to jump up and condemn me for it.  It’s not for the sake of correction.  Instead the voice I hear asks how I could do/think/say such a thing if I were really a Christian.  It says because I fail to do or not do a particular thing that I am a failure in the sight of God.  The voice tells me that I am rejected by God because I failed to live up to this standard. 

Now a lot of people will tell us that it is the devil talking to us, the devil urging us to do something wrong or not do right, and the devil accusing and condemning us when we follow his advice.    I am sure the devil does get involved sometimes.  On the other hand, I have to give credit where credit is due.  I know that my old fleshly nature is itself devilishly clever and not in need of a lot of outside help to pull off some of these shenanigans.  Plus, it is my flesh, which does not want to cede control and authority to the spirit, who benefits.  By making me feel shame and disgust, it drives a wedge between me and my Father. 

Another ploy of the old nature is to deliberately make a mess of things, get me in a bind then blame God.  The flesh asks why I would trust a God who would allow such a thing to happen.

What we are really doing is sabotaging ourselves because there is a part of us that simply wants to be sovereign, to usurp God’s rightful place in our inner being.  It isn’t that we want to be serial killers or real deviants.  We may even choose, most of the time, to do good – give to charity, provide for our families, help others, and live morally.  But in doing so, we are further convincing ourselves that we do not really need God. 

I’ll use myself as an example.  First I will set unrealistic goals and expectations.  Next, I will distract myself and procrastinate.  I’ll get behind in a project.  I’ll stay up late and work extra hours to catch up.  I’ll get irritable and flaky.  My wife will complain about me neglecting her or working too many hours.  So now, I’m feeling unjustly condemned in one way.  Yet I also know -- since I know that reading “Comic Sins” on Lileks or clicking stupid lists on Cracked.com is what got me behind in the first place, that my wife’s complaint is actually legitimate.  At that point, any excuse to explode will do quite well.  I lose my temper, scream, cuss, and smash things – differing from Hulk only in coloration. 

Once all that is out of my system, I feel shame and guilt.  I’m not a real Christian.  No true Christian would do that kind of thing.  How can God overlook all that?  How can I ever go to God again?  I was never anything but a damned hypocrite.  And, of course, the flesh is quite ready to bring up all my past series of failures and ugly episodes to reinforce that point.

It’s all the work of the saboteur -- stealth, deception, and illusion.  It was never in my power to live the life of Christ.  If it had been, Jesus would never have needed to go to the Cross.  God never needed to look for a way to condemn us.  We condemned ourselves, from the first fall in the Garden to the guy who fell off the wagon this past New Year’s Eve.  We know we are wrong, and we want an excuse to wallow in it, an excuse to give control over to the old fleshly nature, to do it “my way”.  Take time to read Romans 7.  I’m not the only one this has ever happened to.  The Apostle knows the agony I feel because he has gone through the same conflict, the same dark, hopeless battle himself.  

The good news is that I’ve got bad news for the old nature:  There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do (Romans 8:1-3a).

 

That Which Burns

For if they do these things when the wood is green, what will happen when it is dry?  -- Luke 23:31

As Jesus was led to the Place of the Skull not all cried out for His death.  Some followed weeping and mourning.  It was to these that Jesus spoke telling them they should mourn for themselves and foreshadowing the great tribulation that came during the siege and fall of Jerusalem.  The Lord Jesus is the “green wood”, the Tree of Life in which hope always flows.  As to the dry wood, Luke reflects on this image in two other passages. 

In Luke 3:9, John the Baptist says, Even now the axe is laid to the root of the trees.  Every tree therefore that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

Similarly, in Luke 13:6-9, Jesus gives us the Parable of the Barren Fig Tree:

 And he told this parable: A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none. And he said to the vinedresser, Look, for three years now I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and I find none. Cut it down. Why should it use up the ground?   And he answered him, Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and put on manure.  Then if it should bear fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.

We note that the ministry of Jesus is usually seen as covering a three or three and a half year period of time.  The coming of the Messiah to His people was a final effort to bring forth the fruit of the kingdom.  When that generation, as a whole, rejected Jesus, they doomed themselves to great suffering and destruction.

In commentary on this passage, the focus tends to be on the injustice done to the innocent Lamb of God versus righteous judgment upon the guilty.  Green wood is hard to burn and symbolizes innocence while dry kindling fires easily, representing the guilt of those who live according to the flesh.  As Jesus said the devil had no hold on Him, no place to catch (John 14:30). 

We also see that there are two kinds of suffering:  the suffering of deliverance and the suffering of destruction.  While we do not look forward to or invite either, the one is hopeful while the other is hopeless.  You can cut a limb off some varieties of trees such as willow and get a whole new tree out of it, but if you let the limb dry out, it’s just as lifeless as any other. 

Consider Daniel 9:26 -- And after the sixty-two weeks, an anointed one shall be cut off and shall have nothing. And the people of the prince who is to come shall destroy the city and the sanctuary. Its end shall come with a flood, and to the end there shall be war. Desolations are decreed.

Messiah, of course, means “anointed one”.  Jesus was indeed “cut off”, but He rose for He was that “green wood”.  His life has given life to countless millions in the intervening centuries and will give life to millions more in the future.  His suffering delivered humanity from the bondage of sin and certain destruction.  Untold numbers of Christians since that time and right up to this very hour have borne witness to the truth through persecution, tribulation, and death.  These have been counted worthy to “share in His sufferings” (Philippians 3:10) and have brought, thereby, that same deliverance to others. 

On the other hand, there is the suffering of destruction.  All our works will be tried as by fire (1 Corinthians 3:13).  All of us must pass through the flames.  If we have lost hope, if we have been cut off from the Vine for unfruitfulness, all will be consumed.  This is the suffering of which Jesus warned those who mourned as He passed through the streets of Jerusalem that day.  The people who turned their backs on Him would pass through the fire and lose their temple, their holy city, and the land of their inheritance.  Everything in which they hoped would turn to dry wood and be reduced to dead ashes. 

It does not matter how close the Vine we branches are pruned.  So long as we remain in Christ, we have the hope of fruitfulness.  So long as the life of Christ flows through us, though we pass through difficulties and loss, though flames leap around us, we may be at peace for we will be delivered. 

Giving Up

And she did not know that it was I who gave her the grain, the wine, and the oil, and who lavished on her silver and gold, which they used for Baal. -- Hosea 2:8

We talked about Nebuchadnezzar yesterday, but it is not only kings and leaders who forget by whom their blessing are bestowed.  It can happen to nations, as it did to Israel in the time of Hosea.  Despite apostasy and heresy, the Lord had continued to sustain and protect Israel. 

If we thought that delivering unpopular messages reduced the pool of applicants for the job of prophet, consider Hosea.  The first thing God said to Hosea (Hosea 1:2) was, “Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom  …”.  Beta bucks, as they say.  Hosea’s life was to be a living illustration of the unconditional love of God for His people, regardless of their disobedience.  They would suffer the consequences of their apostasy, but they would never cease to be bound to the Lord in covenant as Gomer was bound to Hosea in marriage. 

An Arminian friend of mine put it this way, “I don’t necessarily believe in once-saved-always-saved, but I do believe that’s the way God intends for it to be.”  A Calvinist would read that and say that if God intends, so it is.  Me?  I say, with Lewis, the gates of hell are locked, from the inside. 

No matter what a person has done or is doing, deliverance, peace, joy, and the Way of the kingdom is never more than a turn away.  No matter how many wrong turns have been taken on the road that leads away from God, the road back is the one a person is on.  Only the direction needs to change. 

Every blessing, every good thing in my life is from God.  I may make the mistake of attributing it to my capacity for problem-solving, but where exactly did that come from?  What can I actually take credit for?  My genes?  Good parents?  Good humor?  The ability to get up after being knocked down?  Most of the time, I want to quit.  No, something -- Someone keeps me going.  I don’t even know why.  We can only resist the grace of God by actively and intentionally denying Him access to us, sedating ourselves with drugs and work and fillers, drowning out His voice with noise and activity, keeping our minds in a state of turmoil, creating daily dramas and little personal disasters and distractions. 

On a very dark night I remember all too well being, as it were, on the edge of a precipice, and asking God why He would not leave me alone.  Couldn’t He see that I was a lost cause, that there was no way back for me?  Why not just let me go on down into oblivion?  To go back would hurt too much.  I don’t remember Him answering.  Well, except that I’m still here.  The truth is, though, I don’t feel I have made much progress.  I have a feeling, if I were to turn around the yawning abyss is not that far behind me.  The important thing, it seems, is not where we are but where we are going. 

The Grasshopper in the Mirror

And there we saw the Nephilim (the sons of Anak, who come from the Nephilim), and we seemed to ourselves like grasshoppers, and so we seemed to them. -- Numbers 13:33

The entry of a Christian into the new blessed life of holiness, joy, and peace is paralleled – “parabled”, we could say – by the entry of the Israelites into Canaan, the Land of Promise.  We were never meant to live in slavery and misery until we die.  Israel’s Promised Land is not a type of heaven but of the heavenly life which must begin in our material existence and in time rather than eternity. 

As the children of Israel were camped in Kadesh Barnea, they sent spies into Canaan to see where strongholds might be and where they might first begin their assault.  Although the Lord seems to raise no objection to this effort, I’m not sure such a thing was in accordance with His plan.  When Israel did enter, forty years later, God sent them directly to that most impregnable fortification, the massively walled city of Jericho. 

I can’t blame them for wanting to know what they were getting themselves into.  I am a cautious, timid sort myself, hardly one to criticize those who would look before they leap.  What got those people into trouble was not sending the spies but accepting the majority report.  There were twelve spies – one from each tribe – sent out.  Two, Caleb of Judah and Joshua of Ephraim, said the Canaanites were ripe for conquest.  The other ten spoke fear, trepidation, and faithlessness, leading the people to conclude (as they had said before) that God was leading them to annihilation and destruction. 

We can take the slave out of Egypt, to paraphrase an old cigarette commercial, but we have trouble getting Egypt out of the slave.  A man who thoroughly believes in his freedom and individual sovereignty under God is very difficult, if not impossible, to enslave.  Conversely, it is nearly impossible to free someone who has the mindset of a serf.

America was once the Land of the Free.  We believed we could do about as we pleased.  Over the last hundred years, as more and more of us have become urbanized herd animals, we have lost our sense of independence to the point that a majority now say that we all belong to the government.  Everything must be done for the sake of the Collective, the Common Good -- which comes to mean for the sake of ruling class, our benevolent new pharaohs. 

The same is true in the spiritual realm.  Christ came to set us free from the world system, of which Egypt is a type, from the bondage to sin and to Satan.  Our deliverance begins when we accept Christ as Savior and believe the gospel, but it is not complete until we understand that we are free to live and walk in the Spirit in every area of our lives.  We are not slaves to anything.  We are willing servants of the Lord who, through the New Covenant established by the shed blood of the Lord Jesus, are adopted as children of the Father.  Like the Prodigal, we return as servants to find ourselves welcomed as sons.  We are in the House, and we are family.   

This is not to say that the Christian life is without its battles and difficulties.  Entering into the Land of Promise means declaring war on whomever or whatever is holding that ground.  It will require standing in faith against all the lies and illusions that will try to keep us, if not in bondage, at least out wandering hopelessly in the wilderness, impoverished and homeless. 

A lot of us are willing to be wanderers.  It’s not Egypt.  It’s not so bad.  It’s a little dusty and dry and boring.  We really can’t get settled any place.  We end up looking forward only to death to set us completely free.  I wonder if that will even do it.  It might be that we will find ourselves always in the desert until we are willing to face our enemies, face our fears, and change our perception of who we are.  Will there be grasshoppers in heaven? 

Dragging Out the Dragon

In that day the LORD with his hard and great and strong sword will punish Leviathan the fleeing serpent, Leviathan the twisting serpent, and he will slay the dragon that is in the sea. -- Isaiah 27:1

When we see “land” or “earth”, particularly in the Old Testament, it usually has something to do with or in some way symbolizes Israel, God’s people, and His system.  The sea is sometimes a symbol for the Gentile nations and the world system.  Revelation 13, for example, speaks of two beasts, one arising from the sea and another rising out of the earth.  

• And I saw a beast rising out of the sea, with ten horns and seven heads, with ten diadems on its horns and blasphemous names on its heads. (Revelation 13:1)
• Then I saw another beast rising out of the earth. It had two horns like a lamb and it spoke like a dragon. (Revelation 13:11)

The life of the sea is mostly out of sight.  It is obscured and occult like the subconscious mind.  Leviathan terrorizes the depths, but this is not always apparent on the surface.  Our lives are often driven by fears and half-forgotten, hidden motives of which we are usually unaware.  We struggle with what appears, unable to understand the twisted thing that underlies it.  Leviathan flees for it is both a dread creature and a creature of dread.  

There is no place to stand upon the sea.  It shifts constantly beneath us.  We do well to stay afloat.  How then can we overcome this monster and free ourselves from this embodiment of all our dark confusion and anxiety?

The Lord delivers us by His sword, His word. 

From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron … And the beast was captured, and with it the false prophet … These two were thrown alive into the lake of fire that burns with sulfur. (Revelation 19:15,20)

It is Christ who rescues us from the monsters, no matter whether they come from our subconscious, the secular system, or false religions.  Truth alone can always set us free.