An Exchange

The fool says in his heart, "God does not exist." They are corrupt; their actions are revolting. There is no one who does good. — Psalm 14:1

For God has imprisoned all in disobedience that He may have mercy on all — Romans 11:32

Atheist: I don't believe in god. There is no god. God does not exist.

Theist: I don't believe in atheists. There are no atheists. Atheists do not exist.

Atheist: Wait a minute. Don't try playing this game with me. You're going to try to get me to prove I exist, and, of course, you'll deny all my proofs just as I deny your proofs about God.

Theist: [Shrugs]

Atheist: I'm on to you. It won't work. Your approach is simply childish and absurd.

Theist: [Sips coffee]

Atheist: Oh, I see, now you're making the argument that my argument is childish and absurd since existence without (airquotes) god is itself absurd. Is that it?

Theist: [Yawns]

Atheist: I get it. Now you're suggesting that I'm the one who is obsessing over something I claim doesn't exist. But the fact is that billions of people around the world are drawn in and deluded by this whole god thing, to their detriment. They are controlled by baseless guilt and shame and meaningless moral absolutes. They live with a false hope of being rescued at the end of life by an old man in the sky. They can be set free from —-

Theist: [Passes a loud and malodorous fart]

Atheist: So now you're challenging my belief in restraints on society. I've heard this argument. 'If everything is relative...' or 'if we can all just do what we want ...'. My response, of course, is reason. Humans are capable of reason and can derive reasonable limits and recognize the rights of others so that we can maximize happiness as a society because we evolved as social animals. That's where how our intelligence evolved, through consensus and objective agreement about how to interpret the world.

Mind you, I'm not saying that religion, which was part of that evolutionary process, didn't serve a purpose at one time. You need to face the fact that we now understand how the world works. We know there is no old man in the sky. We've gone beyond the need for the boundaries that belief in gods imposed, and we live much happier, fuller lives without it.

Theist: [Glances at his watch]

Atheist: Oh, please! Death is simply the cessation of life. There is no eternal happy heaven, and, conversely, there is no eternal punishment in hell. We are animals who live, pass on our DNA, and, now, our knowledge and our discoveries and our understanding. We may not be evolved enough mentally — and we won't be until all you deluded believers wake up — we may not be there yet, but we will do what we can to make the world a better place, to increase knowledge, to give succeeding generations the power to fully understand and fully inhabit the universe ...

Theist: [Smiles]

Atheist: You think you've got me with the word 'better'? I've already explained that reason is the basis for a positively evolving ...

Theist: [Laughs]

Atheist: It's just a limitation of the language. Everybody knows —

Theist: - that atheists don't exist.