Float Trip

Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interest, but also for the interests of others. – Philippians 2:3-4

The one thing she had no longer to do was to look after herself. – from The Place of the Lion, Charles Williams

There is nothing indifferent about the life of a Christian – except a happy indifference to self.

I plead guilty to the charge of making it all about me far too much of the time. I have testified many times about what Jesus has done for me, but the most vital thing He would do for me – if I could accept it – is to free me from any concern about my condition, my success, my status, my honor, my dignity, or my importance. It is fine to think “what will people think of me” so long as I am concerned about how my words, appearance, or actions will affect others. It is wrong when I am thinking such a thing in self-protection mode. Self does not need protecting.

If you want to know what the Kingdom looks like, this it: I trust God to take care of me while I look out for the best interests of my brothers and sisters. For the one who is able to walk that path, all fear and all limitations will melt away. We might be like Philip the Deacon, so light (isn’t that a funny word?) that we could be blown from Gaza to Azotus by the Breath. We would be held to earth not by the weight of our personal dignity or the heaviness of our troubles but by the silken tether of love -- like a helium balloon tied to a toddler’s wrist.

I have sinned grievously, hating this world and most of its inhabitants while claiming to be a follower of Christ. I have complained about how horrible life is and how much I have to suffer. I have railed against all the evil and the pain while praying for the Rapture that I might escape and never look back, leaving all the rest to their destruction. If I couldn’t get the Rapture, I’d settle for personal death as a release from all the responsibility and all the stupid pointlessness and meaninglessness of day-to-day life. Depression, in my case, is a result of my anger (sans heat) toward God for putting me in this stupid world. I’m messed up. But even thinking I’m messed up is messed up. The self is nothing if not ‘tricksey’, as Gollum might say.

I can look past self to Christ who lives in me. All I need are my orders -- really, usually, the singular – all I need is my order, the one thing I need to do next. Next, instead of getting caught up in the interior where I will be weighed down and imprisoned by the feelings of a dead man, I look to carry out that command, to look out for the interests of those around me.

Yes, I know, the world says that’s not wise or healthy. And the world is wrong.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death – Proverbs 14:12