Last Standing

Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved.  – Philippians 4:1

I don’t know what happened to me.  Maybe it was being away from home for week.  I was near the grandkids and saw them every night.  That might have sharpened and accentuated the absence of my wife.  I had a dream last night.  I was somewhere, working, I think, and the phone rang.  When I answered it, I heard Vickie talking.  I said, “Hey, Boss, when did you wake up?  You’ve been out of it for weeks, you know.”  I don’t remember what she said, just the sound of her voice.  I woke up because I had to go wherever she was. 

That’s the way I was over the weekend, and I couldn’t put it into words.  I felt like I need to be wherever she is because I need to take care of her.  I’ve always done that.  I know, consciously, she’s with the Lord, she is being taken care of, and all of her fears are gone.  But taking care of her is my default mode.  It’s automatic.  That’s what I do.  Through four decades that is what I have done.  How can it be that I just stop?

You might ask what that has to do with the verse above.  Sunday, especially, after church, I felt like I could not go on.  Everybody has probably reached a point of mental, emotional, or physical exhaustion and had the thought that it was impossible to keep going.  What do you do when you cannot “ …  press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” as Paul says just a few verses prior?  By the way, that verse, Philippians 3:14, is the one that is engraved on our headstone.   

Sometimes all we can do is stand, and that is enough, so Milton’s sonnet concludes:  They also serve who only stand and wait.  Or, as the prophet Isaiah says (with added emphasis):  

Even youths shall faint and be weary,

and young men shall fall exhausted;

but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

they shall walk and not faint.

And Paul again admonishes:  Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.  Stand therefore … (Ephesians 6:13-14). 

Just because I can’t go forward, because I don’t know where to go or what to do, it doesn’t mean I should give up or quit or fall back.  When I don’t know what else to do, I can stand, and I can wait.  No matter how long it takes.